The Ultimate F/m Fandom List
As you may or may not know, sometimes I like to put up my feet, grab some chocolates, and watch BDSM relationships portrayed in an acceptable, positive light. I find this is an almost impossible feat, especially with F/m relationships. Dominant women are portrayed as hellish ice queens and submissive men as spineless subhumans. They are comic relief, at best.
However, I have found a few fictional couples to fangirl over and I invite you to help me expand my list. I think it’s important to note that the most “healthy” F/m fandoms I can find don’t ever identify as D/s. Undertones are the best we are allowed.
So, to get the ball rolling:
Lady Heather and Gil Grissom from CSI
Saya and Hagi from Blood+
Sir Integra and Alucard from Hellsing (“healthy” is debatable here, but the relationship isn’t mocked or downplayed)
Zoe and Wash from Firefly
Morticia and Gomez from The Addams Family
Jocelyn and Will from A Knight’s Tale
Six and Baltar from Battlestar Galactica
I look forward to your contributions! I really want some new shows.
Suggestions from you:
Wanda and Severin from Venus in Furs
Cornelia and Guilford from Code Geass
Waking up the boyfriend
Me: *jumps on top of him* Guess what time it is!
Me: Nope! It’s 12:08.
Me: And since you were wrong, you have to wait on me hand and foot.
Him: But I do that anyway!
Me: That’s because you’re always wrong!
Just a short note to say I’m still alive :) I just started doing some weight training in hopes of raising my arms’ endurance. I’m cautiously optimistic.
Also, the boy finally moved in with me, so now I can be pampered whenever I want. And make him regret moving in with me in the most creative ways possible.
Miss you all!
At last! 300 followers! Not bad for an internet personality who is all but absent these days.
To communicate my appreciation, please enjoy this beautiful image of tasty menfolk hurt very, very badly.
How can you tell if you're kinky? I don't think there's like a checklist, but how would you know at first? Would you know whether you prefer to be a dom or a sub? I know this isn't the gay community, but do you come out to your friends and family?
While calling yourself “kinky” or “vanilla” is a great way to easily identify yourself to others, these labels are actually a lot less concrete than people would like to think. You’re right, there is no checklist for kinky people, but there also isn’t one for vanilla. The lines are blurred and many practices formally considered kinky, like blindfolds or handcuffs, are now used by people who identify as vanilla. However, I don’t know many vanilla people who sit around wondering if they’re kinky, so that might be a good clue :)
I wouldn’t worry about whether or not you’re kinky and simply focus on what you like and don’t like. Like missionary sex? Cool. Like being tied up? Also cool. Don’t like monogamy? Cool. Don’t like being beaten? Also cool. Once you’ve developed a better understanding of your likes and dislikes, you can better label yourself. BUT REMEMBER: labels are just for the ease of identification. They don’t cover all the complexities of human sexuality.
Also, if you do decide you’re kinky, that doesn’t mean you have to stop doing “vanilla” activities like romantic dinners or good ol’ missionary sex in the dark. Do whatever you want to do.
This segues into your next question about subs and doms. The kink community isn’t just subs and doms. There’s tops and bottoms and sadists and masochists and switches and furries and people who don’t like any of that but do like to be tied up and suspended or wear frilly panties and have sex in public. Figure out what you like and then figure out how you want to describe that to others.
FInd a trusted partner whom you feel safe with and experiment. Have them call the shots for a session. Then, have you call the shots for the next session. Do you have a preference?
As for coming out, this is a very important point. The kink community is very split on this subject. First, you have to remember the plethora of misconceptions about being kinky. Parents don’t want to think about their kids being beaten or hanging out in dungeons. Being kinky doesn’t affect your public relationships, unless you’re also gay or poly. You don’t need to know what your parents do privately and they don’t need to know what you do, either. Some people would even argue that involving your relatives in your kinkiness is bringing them into a scene without consent.
On the other hand, being accepted by those close to you is always a bonus. If you think your parents are open-minded enough and you really feel pressure to tell them, give it a try. Just don’t go into details. As for friends, tell only those you trust. Your reputation and possible career can be ruined if the wrong people get such information about you.
Hey, I'm a huge time fan of the comic and you seem like a really cool gal. I sincerely hope you feel 100% great and that I empathize in having hardships in real life keeping you from your art. I really wish you the best. Keep rocking.
Gosh, I don’t know what else to say :)
Solidarity and support in your need to hiatus. You have a great mind and produce a great product, but health first! My webcomic has been on ongoing hiatus with occasional updates for about 3 years as my artist partner succumbed to the life sucking that is having children, so I understand. As someone in the alt community, and the webcomic community, i totally get it, and your understanding readers should too. Life happens, art comes later.
Thanks for your note!
Oh goodness, children. I can barely keep plants alive. Luckily, my boyfriend can handle domestic tasks so my only responsibility is not wrecking too much havoc.
I perused your blog and some of your FemDom captions are *magnificent.* Plastic porn needs to die.
Where could One go to learn about the Fetish/Kink Lifestyle without being tactless or making a big jackass of their self? I have several Fet-Life friends but at times I'm nervous to ask some questions and dumbfounded by what I should be asking/learning. Thank you :]
I think the best place to learn about the kink community without going to a secret location with people in leather is a munch. Munches are public social gatherings put on by local kink communities. They are usually held in diners or bars. You can find munches near you via FetLife. Search for your local kink groups and they should have a list of events. Show up, use whatever name you want, and get to know what kinky people are really like.
If you’re not yet ready to venture out into the Great Kink Beyond, then I would suggest checking out the Comfy Chair or Novices and Newbies groups on FetLife. If you’re interested in specific techniques, check out Kink Academy: http://www.kinkacademy.com/ .
Let me know if you need anything else,